Social media is good for telling women especially that in our 30s we’re “old af.” Twitter especially is inundated with hella ageism. And not just Twitter, it’s pretty much everywhere on socials. God forbid you’re a single woman in her 30s and please don’t also have kids. The internet can be a warzone for us in these categories. I remember the feeling I would get scrolling through comments like, “omg are is this true?? Is my life really over??” I not only started feeling needless anxiety and feeling old in my 30s, but I began questioning my worth and value as an unmarried woman with two children.
Then I checked myself. The reality is, people on the internet just say anything. Consider the life and personality of the type of person who gets online to age shame or otherwise bully complete strangers. These are not the opinions of folks we should take seriously at all. Furthermore, we should not be reading that crap in the first place. One of the very first things you can do to not feel old af in your 30’s is to ditch the toxic scrolling and comment checking. Nothing good is coming from reading comments on posts that are already triggering. Make a decision that you’re not going to doom scroll posts, let alone the corresponding comments that increase your anxiety and make you feel badly about yourself.
And maybe it’s not even social media that has you down. Perhaps you just don’t feel like the same you from ten years ago or you might be comparing your looks to younger women. Maybe you are filled with regrets or plagued with thoughts that your best years are behind you. These thoughts are normal and had by many 30-something women. The good news is, you don’t have to let these thoughts control you. It’s been said that 30s are the sweet spot decade. You’re young enough to not have the issues of the old and old enough to have basic wisdom and a bit of money to spend. There’s still so much living to do. Stop feeling old in your 30s. Here are some simple ways to avoid feeling old af:
Stop calling yourself old.
Because let’s be fr. Are you REALLY “old”? Or are you just older (and wiser) than you were in your 20s? Constantly referring to yourself as old, comparing yourself to those who are younger, lamenting about your minor aches and pains, getting caught up in this millennial vs gen z chatter, and looking for other ways to age yourself is definitely a contributing factor to you feeling old af. Instead, to stop feeling old in your 30s embrace the positives that have come with gracing this new decade. Are you having better sex? Have you come to love and accept yourself more? Have you had greater career success? More money? Stop calling yourself old. You’re as young as you feel, act and think.
Understand that These ARE the good old days.
In another five years you will look back on this time period and think about how the age you are right now is so young. Instead of reminiscing on what you’re now considering your youth with sadness or regret, get busy creating memories that you’ll be looking back on with the same fondness later. Don’t feel like you have to have a ton of money either. Many of your friends or colleagues may be indulging in lavish out of the country vacations with IG perfect excursions and you’re waiting to get your money right to do the same. No ma’am. To stop feeling old in your 30s, you don’t have to be passport approved. Get out and explore your city or town. Set a goal to try a new restaurant once (or twice, or thrice; whatever works) a month. Take a day trip to a new place. Go to a show. Set google alerts for things happening in your city so you can keep it fresh on your mind to get out and enjoy your life. Plan regular game nights with your family and friends. Stop saying no to everything that comes up, take a chance and make some new memories.
Ditch the yoga pants.
I’M NOT SAYING FOR GOOD! I’m just saying; if errands, your kids school and sporting events, and grocery shopping have become your main activities these are still occasions good enough for you to get your hot girl on. You don’t have to wait for date night or girls night out to get flyy. Taking the same pride and care in how you present (yes, even at the grocery store) will instantly kill that pesky I’m getting old feeling. It can be especially easy for us to slip into perpetual yoga pantdom when working from home. Try not to let this be you. Make it a point to put on real pants, style your hair, and feel good about how you look as much as possible.
Connect with friends.
This year I decided to get back on my fitness grind and let me tell you, it has been a journey. Currently I’m working out six days a week and I’m also cooking most of those days. This plus working full time, freelancing and raising my sons has me feeling like doing anything but hanging out but I understand that connectedness is a must. Loneliness is one of the major contributors of the feelings associated with getting older. Taking time out regularly to gather with your friends, meet up and do things together will help keep you feeling young. Again, don’t sleep on the small opportunities such as coffee dates or even binge watching shows together. My best friend and I both have insane schedules, so we try to get together at the gym a few times a week and hey, I count it as hanging out. Stop feeling old in your 30s! Fill your life with friends and activities and your 30s will be feeling just like the new 20s or whatever Jay-Z said.